Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Am I in a tv sitcom?

I swear sometimes I feel as though my life is actually a TV sitcom. Right now the main character is lounging on her couch and you can hear her thoughts as she types...kinda like Doogie Howser or Carrie Bradshaw. I think I relate better to Carrie Bradshaw though. My life isn't exactly like Carrie's off of Sex and the City...but I'll have you know it's pretty damn close. Well...minus the promiscuity and famous writer thing. Oh and the no Kid thing...plus I don't have four close girlfriends to hang out with.... Anyway... can we get back on point...voice in my head.

Today was one of those days were I would swear someone was writing my life out for me. Edie woke up screaming at one in the morning...pretty typical...and so she slept in my room for the rest of the night. (I just stash her in the play pen on her difficult nights because quite frankly she could crush Puck...with a thigh.) Then 6:30 in the morning rolls around and I hear "mom, wake up mom!" Pretty typical. I pick her up and notice she's pooped herself. Of course.  So I change her, but I don't have an extra diaper her size in my room (she hasn't worn size two since she was like...a month old) So I let her run around bare ass. Next thing you know I hear the tinkle tinkle of untrained potty bladder....and that's when I notice she's standing on my three-in-one printer...Not typical!! The normal, under the breath banter between myself and an invisible listener ensues. "Why, why on the printer?! Why can't I own just one nice thing?"...After mopping up the pee I get the kids dressed and ready for the day. I head downstairs to await the one visitor I've had in my house since Puck was diagnosed with his heart defect.

I'm sure her face looked like this while she tinkled on my printer
My cousin is looking to move to my awesome town so she stopped in for a quick visit. Things were...tear filled...between exhausted Edie and tired Gage (my cousins son). Every time Gage would cry, Edie would wail like someone was murdering him in front of us. After 10 minutes of these shenanigans... and more muttering to this invisible friend I have acquired... this is why you shouldn't wake up so early, printer pee princess... I put her down for a nap. Now that the screams have ceased my cousin and I enjoy our visit. Before she has to leave she asks me to watch her son for a few minutes while she loads the car. We joke back and forth about how I can probably do that and even keep him alive since all my kids are still breathing...When suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see my four month old (propped in a sitting position on the pillow next to me) barrel roll off of it and land face down on the couch cushion. I pick him up, brush him off, and Krissy and I have a good laugh about our parenting skills.

my adorable baby before he became a couch acrobat
 After my cousin leaves things resume to normal. Gabe, Puck and I hang out until Edie emerges from her nap. Snack time ensues and Gabriel decides he's going try and get himself some milk. He grabs the milk and attempts to slide it onto the counter so he can have his hands free to grab a glass...The carton tips and he ends up with a good dousing of ice cold lactaid all over his naked body ( I cannot keep clothes on this kid for anything) which leaves him crying and frustrated. I laugh...because it's friggin funny...and that's how the sitcom ends for the day...
Gabe in his police costume (the only clothes he keeps on for longer than 5 minutes)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

wow...what a day! Too funny!!