Tuesday, November 2, 2010

37 weeks!

I made it. My body did what I believed to be impossible. I carried another baby to term. With my pelvis ground to nearly nothing thanks to SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction), and my exhaustion hitting all time highs, I'm relieved; and done. I won't do this again. This is my last baby and I'm content with the notion. Truth be told, three kids in three years seems like a good time to end this.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I live for them, but one day I would like to get back to my life, and aspirations. These babies will always be the best thing I will ever do, but i'm ready to start the mediocre, the middle of the road goals, the things easily set aside when you have a child yelling mom at you 100 times a day.

One day I would like to go back to school, take some writing courses and see where this faded dream might take me. It's already brought me here. A journal for my kids. Memories and stories that won't completely fade overtime. I like to think that some day my great-great grandchild will bring in an entry or two for show and tell. But we all hope to have a story survive throughout the generations, don't we? I know my story is already being figuratively written through the people my children will become, but I hope they can have something more literal to hang onto.

I also hope they never let their dreams fade, not until they have given it their best shot, no matter how unlikely the dream may seem at the time. 37 weeks. A huge goal I have reached and accomplished. Now in a few years when this baby is in school, maybe I will accomplish more of the mediocre...just for me.


Anonymous said...

Your great Carrie!

carrie said...

Thank you anonymous! I'm glad a few people outside my own children think so! :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome and very well written. Good job


Patty said...

it's good to hear that your last pregnancy was successful without any PROM. I lost my daughter from pPROM and found your blog through LouMary's blog. Best wishes for you and your third baby!

carrie said...

Thank you so much Patty for your comment. Im so sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I had a network like the one LouMary has created when my son had been born early. It would have been such a comfort for me. I hope you find comfort in what she has managed to create on her blog.

And the third baby is doing well. One day after writing this blog my baby was born! He made it to term by the skin of his teeth!

Preston, 6 lbs. 10 oz. Nov 4th.