Some days I want to scream. It's not easy being a mom especially when you are the primary caregiver and all the kids want or will listen to is you. Scott tries to discipline but the kids either don't listen to a word he says, or he's so harsh I have two screaming kids who are terrified of daddy's yelling...argh. Not to mention the fact that I do all the cleaning, organizing, and gardening, all while being 6 and a half months pregnant! Some days it just gets to be too much and I need a nice long bath, lots of alcohol, and a book. Lately I just haven't gotten much time to myself... and let's face it...with two kids who sleep at seperate times, a daughter whose teething and wakes up frequently in pain, and being largely pregnant, all helps to contribute to my inability to complete or even start my favorite past time.
When the world of mothering becomes a burden it's a good idea to take a step back; but since that step inevitably ends up squashing a little person's toes, I decided to take the kids out for a walk. I shoved them in the stroller, ignored their cries for escape, and just enjoyed the cooler weather. We had an impromptu picnic in a park near our house (without another person in sight) and I watched as the kids ran all over the field. I had to smile in spite of myself as Edie tried in vain to keep up with her older brother.
As I was sitting there, face upturned to the sky, listening to their screams of joy and laughter, I actually caught myself enjoying motherhood again. When I opened my eyes Gabe and Edie were standing over me smiling and saying "Mom?". Then Gabe gave my a handful of flowers/weeds and kissed me on the forehead. In perfect form Edie passed me a half eaten flower/weed and I decided that motherhood isn't so bad afterall....but maybe we should go before Edie poisons herself with some unknown foliage!