I think the really good parts of life, the ones that make you smile, rarely happen in hugely, dramatic, sweeping occasions that you can look back on and say.."yes...that was a good day". Birthing my two babies are really the things that are easily brought up as the best days of my life, but it's been the little moments in between, the things that are almost nearly forgotten 10 minutes after they occur, that are the true sum of my life.
I remember the first smile Gabe gave me so clearly. He was propped in our old couch, on Dunnee St. It was a ratty old couch that I tried in vain to cover with all sorts of blankets (which I'm sure just made the thing look worse). I was trying to give him his soother but he kept spitting it out. On the third attempt of putting it back in his mouth, I saw that he truly had no interest in it, so I took it out quickly, and he smiled. I had been so tired from the night before but suddenly the world took on this whole new shine, my exhaustion melted away. All I wanted to do was make him smile again and again. And I have, almost everyday since. But its all those smiles in between, all those goofy grins, all the toothless, and tooth filled laughs that I no longer remember the precipitating events to - it's these times that are the ones that count. Those are the smiles I wake up for.
I remember when Edie said her first word. It was truly astonishing. I was videotaping her constant babbling (she was 5 months old at the time) and when I decided that the facebook world would probably be starting to bore of my high pitch baby talk, I asked her to say bye bye. She smiled and said "bye". I laughed out loud from sheer shock and Scott spun around to look at her, his jaw hanging open. I remember that like it was yesterday, but its all the words in between. All the mama's, and dada's, and mimicing of sounds that happen so often, I barely blink an eye at it anymore. It's all those words that count. Those are the ones I wake up for.
Now my children will begin to make memories together. Perhaps they are still too young to remember Gabe giving his sister raspberries until her laughter turned to hiccups. And maybe they are too young to recall hide and seek, which they play on a regular basis now. And perhaps they won't remember how mommy found Edie half way up the stairs, with Gabe at the very top encouraging her with gestures and kind words. But its these memories I will keep for them. Because these are the memories that count. These are the little moments that make a life...lived.