This house

I shake my fist at the heritage artifice that is my home, often times cursing it's poor construction and my naivety at being a first time home buyer. I like to fantasize about leaving it and finding some land with a farm house nestled in it's center. Already, I live there most days, on this fantasy farm, picking fresh fruit and calling to my giggling children...

but something unexpected happened...

I choked up.

I fought back tears when Scott suggested we might have to go sooner than I was prepared for. Leave? I chastised myself of course. Home is where the heart is - My heart is with them, with my sweet, beautiful, loving kids, and him, the husband.

But a part of me revolted against the reality. Leave my home? But what about the measurements on the wall, and the hardwood floor that has seen so many firsts, and we can't leave the bath I laboured in, or the yard they play in...


This house - It's only three years old, and I have lived here it's entire life. A lifetime that has been spent standing tall and proud during some of our family's most awe inspiring milestones, while also sheltering us during some of the worst trials we have ever endured.

It's a stubborn little house. A house with personality. And somewhere along the line this heritage artifice etched a place into my stone heart, cracked my hard facade and safely encased a million memories.

These walls, they whisper to me, they tell our story and if we leave it...will I somehow forget it all? So many events, so many beautiful, gut wrenching moments, so much Life. How can I step away from that so easily?

It would seem I can't...

And so I have come to the only conclusion I can draw...I love this place. I love it despite it's problems. I love it because it's more than a poorly constructed house... somewhere along the line it became a part of the family - and I find...somehow...my heart is here too, between these walls, drumming a percussive beat that flashes through memories and moments in a blink of an eye...a beat that simply says...

love them, love them, love them.