Dear Scott - My very favourite husband.
I want to say thank-you for doing the dishes TWICE on your days off. I know it takes a lot of motivation to perform such a monotonous task but I trust you were rewarded satisfactorily (even if my performance was less than stellar) ;)
I want to say REALLY! for the amount of time you have spent with your nose touching your new Itouch. If I have to watch you play anymore Facebook games while the kids desperately vie for your attention - I think I may break that thing. (Oh and please no more complaining about your aching wrist - this problem would be solved by putting down the Itouch (Carpal Tunnel!) and doing some dishes ;)
I want to say thank-you for cleaning out the car and rearranging the new car seats. I'm sure our children and their now safer lives also appreciate this. Plus I enjoy not having to play the game, "What's that smell?"
I want to say REALLY! for the toy donations that were supposed to be in a bin before Christmas. Your constant promise of "I'll do it tomorrow" is no longer sufficiently convincing.
I want to say thank-you for buying curtain rods, curtains, and installing these window dressings so that our peeping neighbours will no longer see our family in various states of undress! (You my dear husband who loves to wander around in his boxers, me who loves to strip naked to weigh herself - what woman doesn't do this? Gabe who is ALWAYS naked, Edie whose potty training and forgets to put her pants back on after a potty, and Preston whose a baby and gets his diaper changed.. frequently - does this kid ever stop pooping?!) And although I'm positive our family has already been seen naked by the neighbours (innumerable times), at least now they no longer have to avert their eyes from our humble dwelling.
I want to say REALLY! for the one blind I wish you would put up - the one for the shower room! I no longer wish to crawl to the shower...my knees are now more bruised than my ego.
I want to say thank-you for constantly reassuring me with our new secret code talk that you have not been replaced by an intruder from a separate dimension. That dark shadow I've seen in our house clearly has nefarious intentions, which may or may not be the plot to kidnap my husband and take his place (I probably shouldn't watch shows like "Weird or What"). I suppose I should also thank you for believing me when I say I have seen a dark shadow haunting the house - by now most would assume I was crazy - I myself am beginning to doubt my own eyes...
I want to say REALLY! when you do stuff to your paranoid wife - like pretending to be a ghost. I also want to apologize for punching you in the face - but I've seen dark shadows in our house, who want to replace you...so really...what did you expect?
Finally I want to say I love you and thank-you for being my very favourite husband; no REALLY, you are!