Today he threw himself into my arms- full of tears and snot, and owies- and knocked me off my feet. "I hurt, Mom!" he wailed while bringing his foot to my face so I could bear witness to the blister rising on his ankle from the brand new shoes, which are already to small. This boy, so petite in comparison to his father, has already grown large enough to knock me off balance. His strong, wiry frame, full of muscle and sinew only resembles the baby he once was by the little bit of pudge, which still frames his innocent face.
Recently his tears reach epic proportions. He can't seem to live in a world where blisters and hurt feelings can wrench from him emotions he can't contain. The realization that the world is unfair comes at him all at once. Not every act perpetrated by his sister is punishable, and not every injury can be healed with a kiss. His understanding of the world is expanding and growing day by day, and he doesn't always enjoy this new found knowledge. Who can blame him?
Even in my own - well planned and practised - life there come moments where I wish I could throw myself into one all mighty tantrum. Life is the greatest contradiction. It is full of moments which hold awesome serenity, while simultaneously bringing moments which can be wickedly brutal, and infinitely cruel. Life is a god damned oxymoron and anyone who has lived here for longer than five minutes knows this.
So shout out your perceived injustices to the world Gabe. Because there will come a day when it's no longer acceptable - the cruel, twisting knife of civility. It's just that others don't want their serenity ruined by the horror next door, bud. Don't judge these happy few. Who knows what hurt they endured last week and perhaps today they just want to laugh even if their tears have not yet fully dried.
Growing up is hard to do - but at three years old there are still moments where tears and snot and owies are my job, and I hope that serenity can still be found in a mother's kiss.