A letter to my son.

Dearest Puck,

In the middle of the night on November 4th you made your way into this world. You screamed for a good hour and nothing I would do could calm you. Eventually, you tuckered yourself out and slept through the night and you haven't cried since (except for a little incident where you peed on your own face).

You are such a good baby. You wake to feed every three to five hours with barely a squak to let me know you're hungry. The last day you have been a bit gassy but some gripe water has helped you out quite nicely. So far you have proven to be my easiest baby. Unlike Gabriel I don't have any of the new mommy jitters. I don't have to worry about you being too weak to eat, or about your physical development. I don't have to see multiple doctors and nurses for assessments, and I don't have to be terrified of every cold virus that enters my home. And unlike Edie you know how to sleep! You don't cry or whine 24/7 like she did, and so far you haven't developed the dreaded colic like your big sister had.

You are my final baby. My last infant. And i'm a little sad about this. I can't imagine what it's going to be like...all your milestones...bittersweet. And because you are my last I plan on cherishing every last one of them...from the first smile to your first steps. I will celebrate these moments beside you, cheering you on, and encouraging your independence... But I promise you, my heart will break a little. I don't know what it is about my babies...but it seems you all grow up much too quickly.

You are six days old today Preston just old enough to start losing your umbilical cord. Another moment I never thought I could be sad about. But it was your life line to me for so long. Your ultimate dependence on me, and already you are telling me you don't need me as much anymore. With this very first step towards independence I feel the sudden urge to make you a few promises...

I promise that although you are my last you will be just as special as my first.

I promise that although you aren't the only boy in the house, you will be recognized as your own little person, with your own little personality.

I promise that although you won't get the one on one time like your big brother did, you will get family time, something highly cherished and revered in our household.

I promise that although some moments you will absolutely detest having older siblings, there will be moments when your sister or brother does something extra special for you. A kiss when you fall, or a hug when you cry, or a whispered "I love you" after you have fallen asleep.

I promise you that your dad will wrestle with you, just as much as he does with your siblings. He will beam with pride at every new milestone, much as he did when he discovered that we had another precious, little boy entering our busy household.

And I promise you little Puck, that I will kiss your hurts, hold your hand, and cuddle your fears away. I will love you in every way I know how. You are my last little baby and because of this you have a special place in my heart. Just like Gabriel who was my first, and your sister whose my only daughter. Each of you is special, and unique. Each of you will always be my precious, little babies no matter how old you get, no matter how independent you become. Nothing will change how I see you. I will always look at you and see that screaming little body who broke into my world and forever changed it for the better.

I love you so very much. With all my heart and soul. So grow up little one, grow up and become a daddy yourself. There is not a thing in this whole, wide world more precious than the bond a parent has with their child. This I swear, and it is the biggest promise I will make to you.


XOXOXOX

Mom.