Beginnings.

My first blog! How exciting! I've been thinking of creating one for a while but was finally inspired into action through a friend of mines blog. Another mother who has found a bit or relief when being allowed (nap times) to sit at her computer and pound out her frustrations or type out her successes. I figure it must be good therapy!

Anyway, I suppose I should write about how my life started so that I can keep you all updated as it progresses! Of course, I'm not talking literally, as in my birth date, or country of origin. I'm speaking of the year that my life changed so drastically that I was no longer a girl, but suddenly a real life, grown up woman.

This happened (not all at once) but was precipitated by meeting my husband (or soon to be) Scott. We don't really like to brag about the way we met as it is much to embarrassing. We met online, through a free dating website. Of course, when mentioning that I was member of a dating website, my family acted as though I was committed to getting murdered at the ripe old age of 23. As always I heeded no ones advice but my own, never a wise decision up until this point, which may explains every one's skepticism. In fact when I told my mom that this particular persons profile stated that they were in law enforcement and was probably a police officer my mom scoffed and replied "honey with your luck, hes a mall security guard". For once my mother was wrong. Not that I have anything against mall security guards, but a police officer is a much more romantic idea...or so I thought back then.

So I first met Scott in person at Tim Hortons; typical right? He claimed it had nothing to do with being a cop, but more to do with reliable service of good hot coffee and a relaxing atmosphere. In retrospect the good hot coffee would have served us better after his awkward choice to continue our date at Cotton Wood park. The park would have been a uniquely romantic idea if it had been summer, not winter, 28 not -28, with fresh cut grass, not freshly packed snow which hit our waists. Of course if the second half of the date hadn't been such a memorable disaster I doubt I would have found him endearing enough for a second date.

Ultimately, we hit it off better than either of us expected and within a few months we were declaring our undying love, writing love sonnets, and cuddling for hours at a time. A few months after that I moved in with him and the undying love, sickly sweet love notes and cuddlings continued but now new challenges arose in our life. I had to find a new job as i had moved cities to be with him, and harder yet learn to live with the challenges of living with and loving a cop. There was the midnight phone calls for back up, an extreme amount of overtime, and the one call every cops wife dreads to hear..."your husbands been involved in a shooting, back ups been called, and hes still out there". I was six weeks pregnant at the time.

I could not imagine how i would explain to my unborn child what their father had been like in life,after all, I hadn't had nearly enough time to learn everything i wanted or needed to know. I'm not talking about the mundane facts you learn over coffee like how many siblings, or one's favorite color. I'm talking about the little things you learn on a day to day basis; the little nuances that make a person unique. The sounds they made as they slept, or the way their laughter sounded when they found something truly funny. These things I had just begun to know and to memorize; I could not imagine how I would ever accurately describe them. I would later learn my husbands only thought was how he would never get to meet the little person who grew a little more everyday inside me, and how he would miss everything that would make his son or daughter unique. How he would miss, the first smile, first laugh, first word. All these thoughts he said ran through his head in but a second, and he pushed them from his mind in the next, "it wouldn't have been smart to think of everything I could lose, because it would cloud my judgement; I would make a mistake, and then, no doubt, would lose everything"

Three lives could have been robbed that night. Our family could have been shattered before it had ever truly begun. Thankfully my husband got away with fairly minor injuries while dodging the bullets that were meant to take his life from this earth, from his child, and from me. But life is funny in the way it shows you to be grateful for what you have and to be grateful for everyday that you have it.

So that was the start! Wonderful, exciting, and terrifying. And it continues to be so, everyday!